One Week..

One week from today at this very exact time, I will be taking pictures with my parents, grandparents, and sisters in my cap and gown. I will then proceed down with the rest of my classmates to our graduation ceremony. As I write this post, my mind is drifting to every single memory that I made this year. Every tear cried, every laugh chuckled, and every exhaust sighed. From the moment I entered my freshman year, I thought high school would be a better scene than middle school. Those cute senior football players winking and flirting with you in the hallways or the invitation to sit with upperclassmen at their lunch table, it was good feeling right?..

The first couple of months were great, I would have to admit. Then it just sort of tumbled down hill. After Christmas break, it was never the same. I have not liked high school since. Yes, there were some great moments..but I seem to have more bad moments than good. Everyone says you'll look back 20 or even 10 years from now and think all of that stuff was so piddly and childish that it didn't even matter..but I feel like the memories and feelings that I have now will deeply enfluence who I become in the future. That the people that I become friends with and the people that I lose friendships with will always be a part of me; something that I'll never lose.

So has my senior year comes to a close, there's so many decisions to make. I regretfully had to make my college decision down to the University of Southern Indiana instead of Hanover College just for the simple fact that I wouldn't be able to afford the bills that I already have (car payment, car insurance, phone) if I attended Hanover. The next big decision that I have to make is whether I'm going to live on campus or stay at home. One thing you should probably know is that my parents and I don't have the greatest relationship. Yes, teenagers don't get along with their parents. I understand that. Mine is different though.. It's a constant battle everyday to make it work. I would LOVE to be able to have a great, open relationship with Mom & Dad but right now it's just difficult.. So back to my dilemna. If I would live on campus, I would gain that feeling of being part of the college and finally get some freedom for once. I would make closer friendships I feel since I would be rooming with two other girls I don't know and one of my good friends from high school. The kicker? After scholarships taken out, it would cost me about $13,500 roughly for one year.. Now Evansville is about an hour away from my house so if I had classes twice or even three times a week it wouldn't be that bad driving back and forth to class and if I had to, I could stay with family down there for a night or two. I was just looking forward to freedom and being a 'grown-up' for once.. But it would only cost me about $6000 for one year if I lived at home.. I know what the obvious decision is since I'll be paying all of the remaining college bills with student loans but what about living with my friend and having that college experience? Will I still have that if I live at home? Will Mom and Dad still be as strict if I live at home? Such a tough decision and I need to answer it soon..


Bree